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Hi, Sabrina Bolin here with Belong Within Therapy.

I am an IFS therapist who brings a relational and embodied approach to my work with individuals and couples.

And, one of the areas of growing edge I find for a lot of my clients is accessing a capacity to track, notice, and work within their bodies.

And this is for so many reasons, and I'll be exploring that more through other resources, but I wanted to offer a short exercise today to support those who do struggle with this.

So, starting wherever you're at right now. Beginning to just find a way to maybe bring a little more comfort to your body.

So if you're feeling like you're rushing around, or you're listening to this, yeah, where you're just noticing that you're not not comfortable in some way, can you first find a way to choose comfort?

And that will look and feel different for everyone, and that won't feel completely accessible for everyone.

So I want to acknowledge that the word itself might bring up something for you.

But if you're able to access that in some way, so maybe that's just even a small adjustment if you're watching this sitting down.

Or maybe that's lying down if that would be bringing you a little more comfort, just to begin with, and recognizing even that as a starting place, you're already beginning to notice and see what's possible.

So wherever you are, sitting, lying down, I invite you to begin to bring your awareness closer to your body.

And so, not everyone has a practice of going inward, and that's okay. I'm going to start with who you are and where you are and what is accessible.

And so that just might be bringing just the field of awareness a little bit closer, right?

It might be your hands. I'm noticing my hands, with my eyes right now, I'm seeing them. I'm sensing them.

It might be something that's a little bit deeper inside. You might already have, by bringing your field of awareness closer, a tug or a pull or a sensation that is a little bit deeper inside.

So this might be, right, a noticing with one of your five senses. It might be a noticing with an inner sense or your interception. And again, there's no right or wrong. There's simply the intention and the attention that you bring to this.

And this practice is simply going to be one of noticing, and then seeing if you can expand that noticing for just a breath or two longer than you otherwise might.

So I will give you a little guidance through my voice, and I will also invite you to tune that out if needed, and just let this be a slower, quieter space to engage or experiment with this practice.

And so, if you were able to bring your awareness closer to whatever degree, and weren't able to quite get inside or notice sensations in the body.

Can you allow that to be enough and stay with whatever you're noticing that's just right here, right here, the edges of your body.

Maybe it's your extremities, and sometimes it helps to start there.

Can you notice your feet? Is there sensation, temperature? For some, there's an inner visual. We're not going any deeply into the realm of thought.

So parts might start coming in with a thought about this sensation, or a thought that's connected to something else.

So we're just letting those parts know if they do come closer, that we'll return to them at another time

And that this practice we're doing right now will actually help them too, if they'll allow it.

If they'll give you a little space, just a little bit of trust.

So feet, your right foot. See how how specific you can even make that focus.

And again, there's no right or wrong. You're just experimenting.

Maybe you can feel into each toe. Notice whatever you notice. So I'll just be giving you a moment, a breath to be with that. The toes, maybe in one foot or the other.

Maybe you're even just noticing the pacing of your inner system, and that the pacing that I'm offering feels a little bit off from what you're needing.

Just notice that, and maybe you can flow with your own pacing.

Maybe you are moving a little bit more quickly in the noticing. Toe to toe, foot to foot.

And so just bringing that awareness with one more breath, seeing if you're able to direct and hold and expand that awareness, and taking a breath with it.

And that's it. That's it for this practice. Gentle awareness.

Now you can even just bring yourself back into the here and now. And if that focus had become tighter towards your body, maybe expanding it out.

If you had chosen to close your eyes or lower them, maybe bringing them up. And then even giving yourself a moment to reorient to the space you're in.

So we got a little bit closer and into the body just a little bit, if possible.

And then just bringing some awareness to maybe an object in the room that gets your attention.

Maybe it's sounds either in the room, outside the room, beyond the room.

So just noticing, noticing all of that as you bring yourself back here, and letting that be what it is.

I hope that's helpful, and we'll see you next time.

Today's guided practice is how to work with inner conflict.

And I want to start this with just an invitation to try on the idea that maybe inner conflict itself is neither something that can or should be fully resolved in the most traditional sense.

So if we are to shift our focus away from resolution and instead allow this to be an opportunity to find steadiness even in the middle of an inner conflict experience.

What you might come away with on the other side is a deeper understanding of your own parts and what matters most to you.

So we're gonna start this process with some choices.

And often we think we have to access our core selves through a certain formula or process, but there are so many ways in and it's going to differ given your brain, your body, your unique makeup, and it will also differ from day to day, moment to moment.

So recognizing that qualities of your core self can range and so I'll just give a few options and these are invitations for you to try on and start to see what resonates.

What you are looking for is a sense of openness.

Openness to connect and some curiosity.

And so one way that we can drop in is most traditionally through a sense of calming our bodies and then inviting in those parts in conflict.

So I will walk you through practice of calm, but I'll also give you an option to access your core self that might not feel so calm.

It might still be open, it might still feel steady, but calm wouldn't be the word to describe it.

So just feeling your into your seat right now or if you are lying down or if you'd like to lie down to make contact And whatever you're making contact with, this is your contact actually with the earth.

So it may be with your feet on the ground, but just recognizing that the ground itself underneath of that, it's gravity pulling you through, underneath of that it is connecting you to the earth.

Or if you were lying down, right, your backside and just noticing that point of contact.

And so that itself can offer some steadiness.

You are connected right now to the earth.

And so starting with the invitation to see if calm in this moment is accessible for you.

And we will do that very simply, very very simply by lowering your attention. So for some that's closing your eyes or lowering them, but again it doesn't have to be.

I always offer choice because that itself gives you a connection to your core self, the reminder that you're in choice.

And so just whatever that looks and feels like setting that intention, I would like to turn my attention inward.

And so now seeing what that feels like to actually bring some very gentle movement.

You know, often we think that calm means stillness and sometimes it can be, but it doesn't have to be.

Often calm is something we access once we feel comfort and rocking side to side.

Right? Sometimes gently stroking your skin, maybe even light and easy stretching can start to help you downshift.

Right? So we started turning our attention inward, whatever that looked and felt like for you, and then we actually turned to some movement.

And just pay attention as you're doing this. You're just paying attention.

This might be easy, this might be challenging, this might resonate, this might feel inaccessible, but even the noticing itself without judgment is already an opportunity for you to access your core self.

So just let this be a moving process of awareness and noticing.

Now this process itself, you might have noticed, oh, this has shifted me into a different space. I feel a little bit more open, steady, rooted, whatever the language may be, wonderful.

So stay with that if that is what you were able to access.

If on the other hand, this did not help you access a sense of those qualities, I actually invite you to shift your awareness once again.

And so just notice and maybe even remember the last time that you were in a flow state.

And so maybe you were engaging deeply in a topic that lights you up and there was a feedback loop and the information itself sparked something and more curiosity was opened and it took you deeper and there was an ebb and flow and time itself started to disappear.

Sometimes we experience these flow states alone, in nature, or with other people.

So just notice if you're able to access through memory, whether that is somatic memory, cognitive memory, flow state.

Let's try this on, it's an experiment.

And just notice whatever you notice. If there was any subtle shift to feel more open, more steady, and more curious, allow that to be what it is.

Let that be enough for now, knowing that you can always return to this exploration.

And so wherever you are right now internally, energetically, invite in. And so that's for some, that's kind of strange language, And for others it makes perfect sense.

But even more concretely, it's as if you were sending an invitation.

And for those who are visual, maybe you see a little invitation that goes out.

Or for those who do not see inside.

Maybe you just feel again that openness and something inside of you perhaps from your heart is sending out to two parts that are in conflict.

And so just notice, again, parts have choice just as you do.

Notice if that invitation is received.

And you may not even know with clarity the name of the part or much about it. Maybe you know just the theme. And so the invitation might be an invitation to the two parts that seem to keep coming up when I think about or when I experience.

And then whatever it is you experience, when you feel that conflict, that inner tension.

Giving yourself just a moment and giving those parts a moment to either arrive or let you know they're not open to connecting.

And so even if they're not fully open to connecting right now, this invitation itself as part of the process is building relationship.

So that might be all that you experienced today or in this meditation.

Can that be okay? Can that be enough?

Perhaps you do notice more coming in.

Just the energy or thoughts or, oh, yep. There's this one that feels this way, and there's this one that says, nope. It's like this.

And so what I invite you to do now, and if you aren't already doing this, sometimes it happens organically and intuitively, actually to hold up your hands if that is accessible to you.

It doesn't cause extra distress or pain, but if you can just hold your hands up lightly in front of you, almost as a container, in a way to feel the differences, but also a way to focus your attention and to see which part wants to land in your right hand, which part shows up a little more clearly in your left hand.

Just slowing it down.

Again, you don't need to know everything or hear the full story.

You're just here to invite in and make connection.

Right now, that's all we're doing.

So that same energy of curiosity, steadiness, or flow, see if you can direct it now one at a time. And you can see if you'd like to start with the right or the left or just see if one pulls you and see what it actually feels like if you have your hands being held up to orient your body, even turn your head a little bit toward the energy or essence of that part in that hand.

Then just ask that part if it can share with you a little bit more about who it is. Maybe it shows you a picture in your hand or there's a quality or a felt sense in that hand.

And then just start to notice if words come or not, which is the energy of I'd like to get to know you.

What do I need to know about this conflict that you're in?

So taking just a few moments, and I'll be silent as we do, with your body, your head, your face oriented to that hand.

It's whatever you noticed.

Letting that be what it is.

I'm gonna be asking one more follow-up question for this part.

Maybe asking this part, why is this important for me?

Or if you have parts that use the language of values, why does this matter? What value are you holding or protecting by showing up in this conflict this way?

Then maybe the part we'll share with you.

Maybe it'll answer the question but in its own way, images, memories, words, or sensations.

Or maybe you don't notice anything at all.

And finally just thanking that part.

Just thanking it for whatever you received or didn't receive, but just the attention and intention that you had, the opportunity for connection that you had.

And now gently and easily letting that relax, settle, turning your attention, your awareness, and even if that feels comfortable to do so, body and your face towards the other hand.

And perhaps this part was listening. Maybe gave you some space. It was listening and paid attention. Already has the questions in mind, but if not you can always ask this part again. What do you need me to know about what this conflict is about for you?

So just let it share and I'll be silent for just a few moments as you just pay attention, you just offer your curiosity and presence.

And then just noticing anything you received, words, images, memories, sensations, just a felt sense, inner knowing, colors, textures, just noticing.

And again with a follow-up question, Why is this important that you hold or protect this for me?

And again, this part might be very clear.

It might answer you quickly, or it might not know or remember itself. It might need your support to better understand why it matters.

And so letting that be what it is.

And again, if you feel appreciation on any level for this connection with this part, just extending that. Maybe even imagine extending it out through your heart, your shoulder, your arm to that space, that container in your hand.

And so to whatever degree you accessed clarity or simply connection, more connection with both of these parts with still some uncertainty around what they're holding and why.

I invite you now again, if it feels comfortable to do so, to allow your hands to maybe come a little bit closer again. Follow their lead. The parts may not be ready for this.

But if there is enough openness, just letting your hands maybe come up, both of them to your heart.

Noticing the sensation, the feeling, and bringing that into your heart.

And allowing yourself to adjust the pressure. Sometimes a very light touch is what is wanted and needed.

Sometimes some real deep pressure feels good.

And then wherever you are, letting that go.

Letting that be what it is.

And so now in just a moment, I'm going to gently bring your awareness back into your body, into the space. But before I do, one more invitation is to send out to these parts.

Again, only if it feels true for you, but if you would like to continue supporting these parts, understanding these parts, and helping them meet the needs that they are trying to meet, just let them know.

I'm willing.

I'm open. I'd like to.

Now gently bringing yourself back into where you initially noticed that contact with the earth, whether it was your seat, your back, your backside, the back of your head, if you were lying down, there's the earth.

Here's my body.

And again, the same way that we eased in, if there is movement that feels good, that feels right, that feels settling.

And finally, if your eyes were closed or lowered, can you bring them back gently, easily noticing slowly what's in front of me?

What's beyond?

What's above.

And if it feels okay, maybe letting your body even take up a little more space, expanding that steadiness, that openness out in a very physical way as you bring your energy back into the pacing that feels good and right for you.

I hope that was helpful.

I encourage you if writing, journaling, creating audio notes as part of your practice, to have ongoing conversation with your parts, to anchor in some of what they shared, releasing any attachment to this must mean this. Maybe there was clarity, maybe there wasn't.

Knowing this relationship that you're building is one that you get to continue building over and over again.

Thank you so much.

Hi, Sabrina Bolin here, licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Belong Within Therapy, where I bring a relational and embodied approach to IFS or internal family systems.

Today, I want to share a practice that is so important for those of us who identify or move through the world sensitive in any way, especially if we are sensitive to others and the nervous system states of others, to the state of the world.

Many of us who either identify as highly sensitive or are neurodivergent, specifically ADHDers, AuDHDers and autistic folks, can be really challenging to stay connected to yourself when you are engaging with anyone outside of you.

And even if that's when you want to engage with people outside of you or connect with others.

And so this process is adapted from Nyck Walsh's book, Neurodivergent Somatics in Therapy.

And it draws on some of the more common concepts of, energetic boundaries or an energy bubble.

But what I really like about the, the difference in way the way that Nyck presents it is that, instead of a bubble, which for some can pop and that itself feels a little bit, yeah, less, protective or less containing that the idea or the concept of a sphere is one that can change shape and move with you as you need and as you want in your interactions and dynamics with others.

So what I'm going to do today is going to guide you through, a bit of a dropping in practice. I hesitate to call it a meditation though it is a bit of a guided meditation.

But really it's just a way to turn inward, to start to access some of that creativity that you have inside and you have access to where you can start to feel into what actually would feel good and right for you in this moment, in this dynamic.

Because the other thing that's so important is to recognize that this this sphere that you create for yourself can and should shift as much as you need based on what you need.

So I'm going to guide you to this practice. But after I guide you through the practice, I also encourage you to have available, some kind of writing materials if expression, is helpful for you. I personally love, oil pastels. And so I'm gonna have this close by for myself, just a a blank, yeah, sketch pad.

But you choose whatever you need. And if you need to pause this video to go and access those materials and any other materials as well that help you feel, like you can access maybe some some flow states and creativity.

I, of course, love having some of my fidgets nearby, some sensory objects, and just even finding a way to feel a little more comfortable to to sit if possible for the next about ten minutes or so.

So if you need to pause and return, whenever you're ready, I invite you to start with, once again, this idea of comfort.

And so many of us are uncomfortable so much of the time, and it's not always accessible to really sink into our deepest comfort because sometimes that discomfort is actually coming from within our bodies.

And so I just want to acknowledge that and also recognizing that there may be ways that you can, even if it's just one degree, two degrees, shift a little bit towards more comfort for yourself in this moment.

So actually do that, take a moment maybe it's rolling your shoulders back.

I like to stretch it out a bit, sway from side to side.

I have some clients that like to rock back and forth, maybe even just play with the pacing of that. You want to move more quickly or slow things down, but this is just a moment to arrive and to turn inward just for a little bit to better access what might be helpful to support you in connecting with others.

And so as you start to just maybe tune out to whatever degree possible some of the stimulation, so if that for you means closing your eyes, but for others that means lowering eyes, and for others still that means keeping your eyes right here.

You get to choose for yourself what feels best and what helps you the most to access some sense of imagination.

And not everyone visualizes and so your imagination just might be a felt sense.

But just accessing that and just try to explore this idea, this concept of, if I were to create and cultivate my own energetic sphere, what might it look like?

So we'll start with if you can envision or what might it feel like if that's not possible for you. And so we'll start with even how close or far away it is from your your physical body.

And for some that might feel strange to even entertain the idea that you can have a sphere that takes up as much space all around you even further than maybe your arms can reach.

But that could be possible for you. And, this is simply to feel into what you need. So maybe you need, when you're interacting with others, a really really big space between even if that's not physically possible.

But if you're energetically embodying this, right?

So just feel into that and start to play with it. Do I want it a little bit closer?

This sphere that goes around me?

Do I like it a little bit further or a lot further?

Notice what it feels like as you try on distance in service of your own boundaries.

Maybe as you're even just playing with this, to even notice again if this comes through for you visually.

Are there colors? What helps you sense the edge of the sphere?

And what's beyond it?

Is it a thick lining or is it translucent?

Are there colors on the inside and the outside or none at all?

So right now we're just exploring.

We're just playing, playing inside to give space for creativity.

And as you start to access and experiment with, you're also checking in and seeing how does that feel for me to not have a prescriptive, instructive exercise right now but to actually see what I generate and let that itself be a point of choice and deepening trust.

So just coming back into this this concept, this vision, if you have it, or this felt sense of this sphere.

And then start to notice, do you want to be alone in this space, or would you like objects or other beings, nature?

Do you want trees in your sphere? Right?

Or rolling hills? How big is this?

Or is it cozy?

Maybe there's little plants or maybe you have even just the energetic quality of an animal or maybe beloved pets.

Coming back to this intention of being connected to yourself, feeling comfortable in your own space so that you can connect with others without losing this sense of comfort and being connected to yourself.

For some in your sphere, sometimes there are words. Words themselves can represent so much, and so maybe there are words, trust, freedom, choice, or something else entirely.

But just see if you were to imagine into this, would you want to have words imprinted on the inside or outside of your sphere?

And finally, I invite you to see how might you create a way to drain out whatever energy that you don't want or need here, either because it came in because it was someone else's energy or it was your own energy that you're ready to let go of or transmute.

So just play with that idea. Could there be a little draining system over here, over there Would the wind gently pull it out?

Would it melt out like liquid?

Would it just flow out?

And so just take a moment as well in that sensing into if there's even anything right now energetically that you'd like to just flow out from your sphere to feel a little bit more comfortable, a little bit more connected to yourself while being connected to the world around you.

So now just taking a moment just to trust whatever came in, trusting and knowing this will continue to shift and adapt as you need it. And if your eyes were closed or lowered, maybe gently bringing them back into the space, maybe re-feeling into your body, your breath.

And if you had chosen to get some writing materials, some coloring materials, if you'd like to start to express some of what showed up for you so that you can play with this.

Play with this this idea, this felt sense, this vision of this sphere in order to stay more deeply connected to who you are, some comfort in yourself that allows you to move through the world feeling a little bit more grounded, a little more connected.

I hope that's helpful, and we'll see you next time.